The Dog
by TertiaryRaiths
Summary: Lex has to take care of Clark's dog until Clark returns for Christmas from Met U. Easy, right? Yeah, right.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, I write better Lex stories than I do anything else, so this is a story about Lex acquiring Clark's dog Krypto at some point during the fourth season. It's AU, because Clark wouldn't be permanently at Met U until the 5th season, not even to play football, but I had to tweak it for the sake of the story. Thanks for reading this long author's note!**

**P.S. I do not own Smallville. **

The Kents couldn't take care of their son's dog while he was at Metropolis University, so they gave him to Chloe. Chloe, however, shared the apartment with Lana. There was no room for a big dog, and besides, the dog-allergic Lois hung out with them a lot.

Lana beamed at Lex as he walked into the Talon. "What can I get you?" she asked perkily. Lex gave her a wary smile, leaning against the counter.

"Alright Lana, what do you want?"

"Want?" Lana laughed. Lex, still smiling pleasantly, raised an eyebrow. Lana threw her hands up. "Alright," she sighed. Lana walked out from behind the counter, a large dog trailing after her.

"Lana, you've acquired a four-legged follower," Lex observed.

"He's Clark's dog. I can't fit him in my apartment, so I was thinking…"

"You need to stop doing that," Lex remarked, standing up.

"Look, Lex, you have tons of space! Please, take him!"

"A dog even Lana Lang doesn't want to deal with? No," Lex said flatly.

"He's Clark's dog," Lana added.

"I'm not taking that dog," Lex told her.

Lex sat on the leather couch. The dog lay on the other couch, staring back at him. "If you weren't Clark's dog, you'd be outside," Lex informed it. The dog wagged its tail. "What did Clark name you? Clark Jr.? The Dirty, Smelly, Creature that Lives in His Barn?" Lex eyed the dog. The dog rolled on its back, clearly disregarding Lex. "Right," Lex sighed.


	2. Chapter 2

**I can't write anything bad, it goes against my policy, so all bad words will be spelled out with #!**

Lex went to the Smallville library, where the nosy librarian asked a barrage of questions as to why Lex wanted books on how to care for big dogs. After skimming through one book, Lex went to the store and bought dog dishes, dog food, and a leash and collar. Needless to say, he got a weird look from the middle-aged cashier. Lex walked into his study, his arms full of books and bags. The dog was gone. Lex dropped the books on the desk and the bags on the couch.

"Hey!" he called. "Dog! Clark's Dog! Where are you?" His bedroom door was wide open, and Lex stopped in the doorway. The dog was sprawled on his bed. The silk sheets were marked by the dog's claws, and covered in golden hairs. Lex's voice had woken it- it launched itself at the billionaire.

Lex hit the floor, the dog washing his face with its tongue. Lex spluttered, futilely trying to push the dog's head away. "What the h#!" he yelled. The dog sat down by Lex. He wiped his face on his coat sleeve, staring at the damp smear, then Clark's dog. The dog wagged its tail, but used the brains god gave to a dog and didn't lick him again.

"Your name is Loki, and you are staying way the h# away from me!" Lex growled.

Lex's second disaster occurred when he tried to feed the animal. The freaking bag ripped, and Lex slipped on the freaking food and fell just in time for one of his flunkies to walk in. Lex was glad the man fell on his fat a!, but moved to help the man anyway. He fell flat on his back again.

"Mr. Luthor, are you alright?"

"Did we have an appointment?" Lex asked calmly.

"Yessir."

"Could I reschedule?"

"Yessir."

"My people will show you out."

Lex stared at the ceiling, fighting his rapidly rising temper. The dog ceased its cleaning up of the food and licked Lex on the face. Lex got up and walked over to the leather couch. He picked up one of the cushions. Loki-the-dog watched seriously, his ears perking up as Lex yelled into the couch cushion. Lex dropped the cushion, breathing slightly harder and pink in the face. Loki-the-dog whined and scrabbled at the floor as Lex seized him by the collar and dragged him across the floor.

Lex was very satisfied with himself as he locked Clark's devil-dog into the closet. He'd deal with it later.

**What does Krypto think of his new living situation? Wait and see in the next chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3

Lex covered his head with his pillow. It didn't help. Lex snarled and got up, jerking on his black silk robe. Lex stormed out to the closet and unlocked it. "WHAT THE H#!$!" he screamed. "SHUT UP OR I'LL-I'LL..." Lex stopped. "You're just a dog. I shouldn't yell at you."

Lex gave the dog his nicest smile. "Alright. Your name is now Apollo. You are my best friend's dog who will sleep in your owner's friend Lex's closet until Clark takes you away. Please be quiet or Uncle Lex will send your head to Clark in a box." The dog now named Apollo reared up, planting his paws on Lex's chest. The force of the dog's movement was enough to knock Lex back a step. The dog ran around him and dashed for the bedroom. When Lex got there, the dog was curled up on the bed, asleep. Lex groaned.

A golden retriever came running into the Talon, drawing stares and giggles. The man stumbling in after it drew even more attention. Lana took one look at Lex and pressed her lips together to keep from laughing. There were muddy paw prints all over Lex's expensive shirt. His shoes were caked in mud, and the back of his black duster and pants were similarly ruined. The man himself looked bad- his eyes were bloodshot and ringed by dark circles, and he was red in the face and panting. There was something slightly manic in his blue-gray eyes.

"Lana, help me!" he gasped. "That monster is running me ragged!"

"Lex, it's just a dog," Lana assured him.

"That is NOT a dog," Lex protested. "Shall I recount yesterday to you?"

"Why don't you just lock him up?"

"I _tried_ that, Lana. He_ cried,_ he howled and barked and _cried_ until I let him out. I spilled dog food everywhere when I was trying to feed him and slipped and fell in it, twice. He licked me until I woke up this morning, on the couch because he was sleeping in my bed and all the other bedrooms just happened to be getting redone. I tried to take him for a walk this morning, and he ran all the way here, THREE MILES!!!!"

"I'll get you some coffee," Lana said sympathetically. Then she looked at Lex's canine counterpart; and burst out laughing. Lex looked over. The dog was working its way through a cherry pie. Lex groaned and hid his face in one hand.

"I'll pay for that."

"Don't," Lana gasped, helpless with laughter. "This is enough."

Apollo-the-dog was decidedly subdued as Lex dragged him out of the Talon. Lex sat him in the passenger seat of the car he had called home for. "Stay," he ordered the dog. Apollo whined and scrabbled at the window. Lex obligingly rolled it down; and the dog tried to jump out. Lex lunged forward and grabbed him by the collar. Lex's cell phone started to sing in his pocket. Lex looked at Apollo, who gave him a doggie-grin that clearly said, _Just try it. _Lex eyed the dog; then made a grab for the phone. Apollo shook him off and jumped out the window. Lex cursed very loudly into his phone.

"Is this Lex Luthor?" the voice on the other end asked.

"Yeah!"

"It's Clark, Lex."

"Clark! How's Met U treating you?" Lex blocked one end of a pick-up truck, darting from one side of the car to the other as Apollo tried to evade him.

"It's fine, thanks."

Lex got down on his hands and knees, crawling around the side of the car in the hopes that he could catch Apollo unawares. "That's great," Lex whispered.

"Yeah, it is. How're things at home? Why are you whispering?" Apollo came flying around the side of the car, bowling Lex over.

"COME BACK HERE!" Lex roared.

"Huh?"

"Look, Clark, I'm really busy. Call you later?"

"Sure..." Lex snapped his phone shut and raced after Apollo.


	4. Chapter 4

Lex trudged along the unpaved road. His car had been towed, his cell phone was smashed, his clothes were ruined, he was exhausted to the point of collapse, starving...and Clark's dog was nowhere to be found. Anyone else would be crying like a baby under the emotional stress. Lex hadn't cried since he was a child, but his eyes were stinging as he walked along the long, muddy road.

"Hey!" he shouted. "Apollo? Clark's Dog? You there?" There was no reply. "The Kents are going to kill me," Lex groaned, rubbing his aching eyes. "Only I could so thoroughly mess this situation up." Lex sighed, stopping in the middle of the road.

"Come on, Apollo! This isn't funny! Come here!" He used his best imitation of Lionel's voice; his voice cracked like a teenager's, destroying the effects. "I really need a drink," Lex muttered, starting his walk again.

Chloe was astonished to see Lex Luthor walking by the side of the road. Her car hit a puddle; she splattered him with mud and water. Lex stopped, making that face people make in movies when they get splashed by the bus passing by. Chloe stopped the car. "Lex! I am soooo sorry..." she paused. "There's no way I messed you up that badly."

Lex gave her a long look with his bloodshot eyes. "You didn't." He kept walking.

"Do you need to borrow a phone or...I could give you a ride," Chloe offered, feeling sorry for him, and guilty that she had made his clearly awful day worse.

Lex stopped, then turned to her. "Sure," he said. "Could you give me a ride back to the mansion?"

"Of course," Chloe assured him.

Chloe felt sorry for him when Lex fell asleep on the ten-minute drive back to his place. She felt even worse when she had to wake him up. "What happened to you?" Chloe asked.

"Clark's dog happened to me," Lex told her.

"Clark's dog?"

"Lana put it on me to take care of Clark's dog while he was gone."

"There's no way a dog did this to you..."

Lex gave her yet another long look. Chloe suddenly realized he was really telling the truth, and the impulse to laugh hysterically swept over her.

"You're going to laugh."

"Yeah," Chloe choked out. "I could wait til you've turned around if you like."

Lex sighed, and Chloe felt bad again.

"Look, Lex...why don't you just leave him outside?"

"I can't _do_ that, Chloe," Lex said patiently. "I won't put my best friend's dog outside because I can't take care of him."

"That made no sense."

Lex shrugged. "I don't expect you to understand, but-"

A barrage of joyous barking caused them both to look at the mansion. Clark's dog barreled into Lex, knocking him over, and proceeded to clean Lex's face with his tongue. Lex didn't say anything, he just let the dog lick him. Finally, Clark's dog backed off. Lex stood up. "Thanks, Chloe."

"Anytime," Chloe replied. She watched as Lex hooked his fingers in Clark's dog's collar and dragged him into the house.

This was going to be a huge problem.


	5. Chapter 5

Chloe got into her car and drove off. She hauled out her phone and used the handy-dandy speed-dial.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Clark, are you busy?"

"Chloe? No, of course not."

"Look, I think we might have a problem."

"Whaddaya mean, a problem? C'mon, Chloe, stop being so cryptic."

"Clark...Lex has Krypto."

Silence.

"Clark? Did you hear me?"

"No."

"Clark, this is no time for joking!"

"Alright, Chloe, I heard you."

"What do we do? If Lex figures out how to make super-powered doggies again, we're all in big trouble!"

"I _know_ that."

"So? What's your plan of action?"

"I'll come down there and sort things out."

"Do it fast. Lex is on the verge of killing that dog."

Clark called Lex just about when the sun was setting.

"Yeah?"

"Lex, it's Clark."

"Hey, Clark! Sorry, I was going to call you back but my cell phone met a disastrous end."

"Lex, you have my dog."

"Yeah...is that a problem?"

"No...but from the way you were acting earlier, I figure he's giving you some trouble."

"It's nothing I can't handle," Lex replied.

"Yeah, but I figured I'd just come down there and pick him up...he can stay with me now."

"Really."

Clark decided Lex's tone meant a not-so-happy conversation.

"Alright, Clark. Come on and get your dog whenever you want." A decided frostiness had entered Lex's voice.

"Lex..."

"I have important business, Clark."

"Lex...don't hang-"

Clark got a dial tone.

"Great."

"Apparently, your stay at the Luthor home is going to be cut short," Lex told Apollo. "Your owner does not trust me with his dog."

Apollo wagged his tail.

"I figure he's got stuff for you at the barn, and he'll pick that up. So be a good dog until he shows up. I'm going to Metropolis..or anywhere...somewhere far away from dogs and farmboys."

Lex scribbled a note to Clark, shoved it under Apollo's collar, and left.

_**It's not fair,**_ Lex fumed. _**It's just not fair. I tried so hard to take care of that dog, I took care of it as good as I knew how, and Clark thinks I'm intruding on his precious privacy by baby-sitting his demon-dog.**_ Lex shook his head. He bet Clark had already picked his dog up; the kid got everywhere so _fast_.

A man was standing in the middle of the road. Lex slammed on his brakes, and his car went into the ditch. Lex got out of the car, looking for the man, hoping he hadn't hit him. No one was there. Lex looked around. The rows of corn seemed dark and menacing, harboring hideous creatures of the night that Lex wanted nothing to do with. He pulled out his cell phone...of course. His cell phone was in smithereens. To his surprise, he came up with an ancient cell phone...one he'd had when he GOT to Smallville. He dialed, and waited for someone to pick up. "C'mon," he muttered. "C'mon, pick UP!" He was getting really nervous, which never happened to him, which made him even more nervous.

Clark, running in superspeed, didn't hear his cell phone ringing in his pocket.

A pickup truck pulled up alongside him and stopped. "Hey, buddy! Ya need help?" The man inside called.

Images from old movies where truck drivers turned to axe murderers filled Lex's head. "No thanks, I'll be alright!"

"Hey, this is Clark Kent..."

"Clark! It's Lex..."

"...I can't answer my phone right now, but if you'll leave a message after the beep, I'll get to ya as soon as possible."

_Beep._

"Clark, it's Lex. I kinda called to apologize, and also because my car's a mess and since you're on your way here, I was wondering if you could just give me a ride home or something. It's actually kinda creepy in Kansas after the sunset, so...if you could come quickly, I'd appreciate it." Lex turned around...the man from the road was standing behind him.

"Whoa!" Lex yelped, unable to stop himself. His phone fell to the ground, the sound of its fall muffled by the oozing mud that was quick to cover it.

"Hey."

The man was wearing a coat too large for him and shoes that were too small...and he was wearing blue scrubs under his coat. Lex would recognize those anywhere; he'd worn them at one point. This guy was from Belle Reve.

Lex hesitated, briefly considering running for it or pretending he hadn't seen the uniform. But the man smiled at him. "So you like my clothes?"

Oh, boy.

"They're the latest style in Belle Reve."

Lex turned around...the truck driver was there. S#, he had an axe. Those who didn't learn from history are doomed to repeat their mistakes...Lex had turned his back on the truck driver just like those people in movies and WHAM!!! One axe murderer, coming right up. The truck driver/axe murderer didn't use his weapon. The Belle Reve guy jammed a syringe into Lex's neck. The last thing Lex remembered was being loaded into the truck.

**Um...this is kinda where the story of Lex's doggie-adventures end...sorry, but I'm just going to write a sequel to this one. Krypto/Shelby/Apollo will have a role in that, too. **


End file.
